RiverDog wrote:As you might have suspected, I've read a lot about JFK and the Kennedy family. The old man, Joseph Sr., taught his kids never to settle for 2nd best, that the only thing that mattered was winning, that anything else was unsatisfactory. One night at the supper table, Bobby announced to the family that he was going to become a priest, to which the old man replied "Good! It will be nice to have a Pope in the family."
You don't want to settle for 2nd best, and what I mean by 'settle' isn't to be associated with being a poor sport or demeaning anyone that doesn't finish first. What I mean by 'settle' is not to be satisfied, to push yourself to greater heights, don't rest on your laurels.
You've mentioned to me that you work out regularly. Working out involves goal setting, that you want to do X number of minutes on the aerobic machine, lift X number of pounds on the bench press. If you achieve that goal, are you satisfied with your performance, or on the next day, do you push yourself to lift 10 more pounds, go an extra 2 minutes beyond what you did before? That's not a perfect analogy, but it's as close as I can come to explaining how I approach my expectations for my favorite teams.
When I was younger, I did go after certain goals. Not being first place or any of that, but certain goals. Bench 400 lbs or four plates, get 20 inch arms, and squat 500 lbs. I did bench 400 lbs. Only got my arms to 17 3/4 inches and about 19 inches pumped muscular. Found out to have muscular 20 inch arms naturally required very good genetics otherwise you would have to use steroids as that was extremely uncommon. I did squat 525 lbs. I still lift now and it helps keep me in shape. That's what I'm talking about when I say the process is more important than the end result. If I had never started lifting, I would never have gained the benefits of lifting. If my only criteria was being "1st place in something" and anything else made my effort not worthwhile, then what would I do? Stop lifting because I couldn't be the best or win 1st place at some contest?
There are literally thousands of people who probably told themselves to be the best at something. Yet there are only a handful of people that ever are or can come close to making that claim. I learned that fact early on. So I came to the conclusion if you enjoy the process or activity, you should pursue it. You can push it as far as your natural genetics, environment, and will allow. If that is all the way to the NFL and a championship, awesome. If not and you still enjoy what you're doing, keep doing it regardless of the result.
I'm not the best investor. I'm not Warren Buffett or Stanley Druckenmiller. I still make money, sometimes quite a bit, and the activity of investing is interesting, productive, and much better than the alternative of blowing my cash on crap that does nothing and then complaining rich people are screwing me.
I understand the underlying idea of people who use that phrase, but it's not a necessary criteria to accomplish a great deal. Goal setting can be accomplished without being number one and you will still be better for it.
Most people that do end up winning, they lose a lot before they win and dedicate a lot of their life to that single pursuit. If it's worth it to you, then you go for it. But even for those who will never win, they will benefit greatly from undertaking the process of goal making and self-improvement. I think using ideas like "2nd place is the first loser" or similar ideas is more discouraging than teaching goal setting and good process which is less intimidating, still highly productive, and often leads to the same end goal as well without obsessing over who is number one. At least that is how I see it.
Never let losing deter you from competing or engaging in an activity you enjoy. Even the very best to ever do it lose more than the win as far as championships go. It's because they got out there are competed that even allowed them to have a shot at winning it all.